Mapping Relationships

Context to Connect

The weekend should never be a weak end to the week.

I like to end strong! Get me some big wins.

Let's see. I got a new camera setup, funked-up my room, threw two parties, devoured plenty of cheesecake, my muscle spasms relaxed and I reinforced new friendships. This isn't really my weekly review Erik, but if it was, I'd be mighty pleased.

Even in a shitty week, there's always something that I can call a win. So I end with the memory of a win, even if I have to scourge through the wreckage of the week to find it. To me, a win is always contextually associated with interactions. I learn about myself in relation to others. My solitary contemplations are really endorsed or rejected when I test my hypothesis in conversations and collaboration.

Happiness is only real when shared.

Christopher McCandless scribbled this minutes before his demise. So my big wins are real to me only when it involves people when it involves real emotions when it pushes my own evolution.

On a recent Interintellect Salon by Laura Sinisterra and Clo S (on perspectives of the Brain, Mind, and Soul) the conversation oscillated between Luke Butler’s views on the need to connect with nature and Luci Keller’s caution to not romanticize the experience. I think the contrast between McCandless' journey and a walkabout (wait for it) showcases this difference well.

Remembering Shared Experience

Even though he starved to death if he realized this profound truth, I’d consider it a big win. So my biggest wins are also about shared experiences created by forging and maintaining friendships and relationships. With my weak memory, I rely on my second brain to handle those heavy lifts. So decided to upgrade my journalling with a CRM as a way to improve the context of my relationships. Why? Because...

Connections make relations, but context keeps it going.

Friendship is both fragile and resilient. I can bank on it to survive the toughest of times and yet if I don't approach it with care, I could destroy it by simply ignoring it. And I when I shared this concern, Nate Kadlac decide to chime in with his thoughts on that.

Being the generous fellow that he is, he offered to share his workflow. As we conversed, the system morphed into something that allowed for more context than mere information. What resonates in a conversation with friends? Information is often just gossip or references and resources for future use. Even deep conversations offer a therapeutic value that doesn't last beyond a few days at best.

In building and maintaining relationships, I feel the need for more than just information capture. It's the context that I want to store, to chart the growth or decay of our relationship. I want to know what we talk about, what it made me feel, how I made a difference in your life, and you to mine. I want to remember how I made you feel, how you changed my mood that day. There are so many nuances to interaction and often only a free-flow journal entry of that experience might capture those insights. Our goal however was to create a system whereby, we could look back in time, embrace and enjoy the context of our connections.

In fact, such a method of journaling can bring greater depth to a relationship with a lover, partner, spouse, what have you. Is it really enough to just remember an anniversary, or for that matter varieties of anniversaries? Building a deeper contextual awareness of a partner's effect on one's life can catapult the relationship to the next level. Surprises can be more than just a box of chocolates or flowers. Mapping a journey together can be such an intricate and delicate task, but a simple system like this can help immensely.

What aspects of a relationship would you like to log or document? Take a walk down memory lane and try to recall all the experiences and memories you would want to cherish and why.

Roleplay Time

Talking of walking, here's who I wanna roleplay today. An aboriginal adolescent on a walkabout to discover himself. Walking into the wild and connecting with nature. Exposed to the elements, embracing the experience of being one with all that there is. Truly belonging and being a part of this planet, that I call home. Observing animals in their natural habitat, I live with them like neighbors. I learn to resonate with the rhythm of nature, understanding the cycles of the moon, the calls of the beasts, the nocturnal life.

How would you go about finding yourself?
How would you go about mapping the context of your relationships?

Would love to hear your thoughts on that ☝🏼